found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize