I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
