I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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