It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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