Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
