just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
