Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
sarcasm needs its own font
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
