If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
