New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think people are normalizing furries
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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