If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
