yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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