i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
We smell like vodka and hangover
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