OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
