Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
now i know why i became what i already was.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
