YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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