Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
