oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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