I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
