It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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