dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize