and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
