she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
