I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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