dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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