I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize