Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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