Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
