My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
