Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
