I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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