I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
did you just send me my own nude
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
