census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize