Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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