You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
