all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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