as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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