I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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