I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Randomize
