Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I am available for nakedness
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize