sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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