I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
