well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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