Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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