so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
