Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
