Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
