Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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