You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
