i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
