Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
