Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
