if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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