Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
