OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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