Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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