State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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