No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We had to coat check the pizza.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize