im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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