found the other keg... it's in the tree
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
