yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
