Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
