i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize